You
by BadLiterature
Summary: Sucks BAD. Early Oneshot w/Epilogue. MxN Mello and Near separated long ago. Now the void that was will fill with their lust, their cold, insatiable personalities collide for one final night. Maybe all those empty years won't matter. At least for tonight.
1. One

Note: Loneliness isn't always the best policy. Mello x Near

---

When did it get this way between us?

---

One freezing stormy night in Wammy's House, the white-haired child, Near, walked down the hardwood hallways. He was cold. He was tired. And he was alone. He didn't really know why he was doing what he was doing, but as his feet dragged against the boards on the ground he felt completely at peace.

He didn't know why but he guesses it was some sort of intellectual curiosity that compelled him to walk outside in the rain in his clean white pajamas wearing no shoes that freezing late fall night. When he reached one of the apartment-like kitchenettes, he advanced over to the paved apartment-like garden. He slid open the screen door, slowly, trying not to make noise. As he slid it back toward the other door, just so his body could slip through, it squeaked. He cringed and looked around. No one was to be seen. Near sighed. That was expected, it was about 1:15 in the morning. He slipped through the door and closed the thin white polyester curtains over the open part of the entrance. But through those clean rain-streaked windows, on the other side of the room, Near did not know that he was being watched.

Outside in the cold stormy weather, Near just stood. He looked forlornly at the sky, his white hair and pale skin covered in rain. It began raining harder. This child just stood there looking at the clouds, feeling more content than he was in his bed. In fact, he was almost even… happy. He smiled a bit. It had been a long time since he was truly happy. He closed his eyes and laughed. He felt like he was dreaming. He smiled and felt so good for a minute, it seemed like everything was nothing anymore. It was just him. Just him, alone. Near stopped laughing. He stared up at the sky, his eyes wide and curious, shining as brightly as the stars. His mouth was slightly open. Maybe he thought it could keep the momentum, preserve the feeling. Or maybe he wanted it to leave through his mouth. Nobody really knows, how this one feels. He tried to wipe his face off with his sleeve, but it just dripped, crystal clear, soaking wet, onto the pavement. His clothes started to stick to his body. He didn't feel the same feeling anymore. He wanted to run. He wanted to hide and just cry. He was always alone and always shut off. Always alone. Always would be. Tears streaked down his pale face, blending in well with the rain. But if you were staring straight at him as he let out a wail with his head pointing straight to the sky, you would figure out in a heartbeat that the water coming out of his eyes were tears. Salty, white tears. And Near held his head in his hands as he stood there for another few seconds. And then he, never looking up, walked towards the door.

The person watching him turned down the passage.

Near came back inside, drenched, cold, tired, sad and lonely. Would he always be this way?_ When did it get this way?_

The white haired boy walked down the hardwood hallways once again. Tears silently streamed down his face and hit the surface below. _Clink. _ His small feet patted the floor. _Pat, pat, pat. _He wiped the wet hair from his forehead and flipped it back gently with his hand. It was a glorious movement, one for the angels and the real reason he was alone. Abandoned. He was too beautiful. He was too smart. He was almost perfect. And no one had found this out harder than himself. The sodden child advanced toward his room, slowly, sneakily like a cat when he suddenly saw a shadow. He stopped. He tried to remain as calm as possible. There was no law for him being out of bed. Near breathed in calmly and bit-by-bit he inched his way towards his front door. The figure was moving, so why was he scared? As the being became adjacent to Near, he noticed it was a boy. He squinted, looked harder. It was a boy whose hair was unnaturally long. It was Mello. Near looked away abruptly. His eyes fixed to the floor, Near continued walking, trying to keep his face out of Mello's sight. They moved closer to each other and Mello glanced briefly at Near, who never looked up. Their shoulders brushed against one another. Both kept walking. But only Near stopped, only a few steps away and looked back. "I miss you," he mouthed. And he walked, his heart sinking, back to the loneliness of his room.

---

Mello marched, hearting beating fiercely against his chest, back to his room. He was angry with Matt, with the world, but mostly himself. _Now my shoulder is wet._

He wondered how that could be the only thing he could think. The blonde finally reached his door, some wooden plank of an entrance that had various imprints on it from Mello's constant temper flares. They started happening ever since the accident. The blonde ran his fingers through his hair and squeezed his eyes shut. His blood boiled and he wondered why he was always so angry, it was as if he never could claim to be happy. He used to be happy. He slammed onto his bed, headfirst, into his pillow and screamed. Everyone knew about Mello's screaming and throwing things around his room. They preferred to leave him alone. Except for one brave soul who felt, or tried to feel, Mello's undoubted pain.

Matt crept into Mello's room and tapped him on the shoulder. "Go away.." Mello mumbled. "It's Matt." Matt replied. "I said go away." Mello pressed his head further into the cushion. Matt placed his hand on Mello's shoulder. "Why are you always so angry Mello? It seems like there's no reason. Everyone feels your pain…"

"You will never understand the pain I went through, and I went through it twice!" Mello interrupted. Matt receded, taken aback. Mello lifted his head slightly and asserted, "It's none of your business and you'll never ever get it."

And he was completely correct.

Mihael Keehl was a cheerful child, to a point where he was even considered a nuisance. Every time he did something barely special, something hardly magnificent, something inadequately considered right, he would be incredulously energetic, more than anything anyone had ever seen. Nate River, preferably and only referred to as Near, was the brightest child in Wammy's house and the most fragile, docile boy that his acquaintances had ever known. The only person laidback enough, eerie enough to tolerate Mello's endless energy, was Near. Because of their indescribable difference in personality to the large group, they were both outcasts among their roommates, a match incomparable. Mello wore their friendship like his clothes, he would never go outside without Near, he would never think of not sharing a room with Near and he wouldn't even allow himself to go to the bathroom without Near close by. Others wondered how the white-haired child didn't go insane. Some say he became white-haired prematurely over the stress of staying on top and keeping tabs on Mello. Near just politely denied it all and held hands with Mello, one thumb in his mouth. And in return for Near's constant companionship, Mello was acted as a guardian for Near and kept him safe at all costs. This job turned out as a complete pleasure for the hotheaded blonde, for whenever something angst inducing was going to happen to Near, he wasn't far away… and definitely wasn't shy to sock you hard in the face. And for the duration of their childhood years, the duo was inseparable.

"Nia, it's 3:00 already, wake up!" The blonde prodded the lump on the lower bunk of the bed. Near breathed heavily for a moment and resumed sleeping. "Niiia…" Mello shook what he assumed was a shoulder. "I'm sleepin', Miha," The white bed sheet covered adolescent straightened itself out of the fetal position and laid down on his stomach, face buried in the pillow. Mello watched this all and grinned maliciously as he leaned down and kissed the next words into Near's ears, "Not anymore you aren't." Near held himself for a moment, Mello's face resting on his pillow. If he were to move, he would admit to his friend's wishes, as he always did and always would do because he loved him, only neither Near or Mello knew that one fact of each other or themselves, so it remained unknown at the time why Near would always be by Mello's side. All the albino-esque child could do was follow his partner's desires subconsciously without complaint. The pale one lifted his head only slightly, only one eye could see Mello. Mello's face was extremely close to his and he could feel himself blushing, his heartbeat quickening and as Mello got even closer, Near squeezed his eyes shut. But his best friend, shirtless with the mind, intellect and physique of a six year old, just leaned close and smoothed his wavy white bangs back with the back of this hand. "Now c'mon," Mello whispered, making Near more flustered than ever. "Get up." And the plain one did. This child, this irrepressible small shrivel of a human being, despite his size and stature was impeccably beautiful, to a point where it scared you. It scared everyone but Mello. And it proved him justice to his name as Mello grasped Near's feminine hand loosely and ambulated down the hall ecstatically.

"So where ezatly are we going, Miha?"

Mello turned his head to the feverish child, his heart beating faster and his skin getting warmer every second. The blonde felt this and looked concerned at the blushing, hoarse little doll. "Nia," he inquired, "Ah you sick or some-ting?"

It was too much. Near closed his eyes and caught his breath. Then he calmed himself a bit. He cleared his mind of everything, including the fact that an impatient sphere of energy now holding his hand kept looking at him, worried, touching him and asking him how we was feeling, proposing the same question, over and over, paranoid as he was wont to be. Near patiently and slowly exhaled but upon this he stumbled on his throat and coughed. "You are sick!" Mello accused.

"No, I'm fine! Let's go." Near retorted. Mello shook his head disagreeably.

"No, cuz if you're sick then I hafta take caya of you."

Thunder crashed.

---

'_On this night as well as that one.' _

Mello lifted his head. The redhead was gone. He remembered bumping into Near in the hallway. He remembered him sniffling. Mello's heart wrenched as he unthinkingly bounded of the bed and walked out of his room. "What am I doing?" he asked himself at the doorframe. 'Something that should have been done a long time ago.' He put his finger on the switch and gave a long, quivering glance at his room. He could go back. Forget this whole thing. Mello pushed the switch downward. He plodded the familiar hallway approaching Near's door. He stared straight ahead and carried himself as confidently as possible, though on the inside his stomach was doing millions of back flips as the adrenaline rushed the closer he got. 'Why am I doing this?' he thought again as he approached the fourth kitchenette.

'How many of these things are in this building again?' he mused, fairly disgusted. The framed map hung on the wall by the open wall entrance to the next hallway. The white walls engulfed the yellowing piece of paper like an ocean wave waiting to crash. Mello shuffled over cautiously and looked at the paper. It was the newer version. Everyone's name was scribbled in the quadrants drawn to represent their rooms. There were parallel lines and a big square drawn in the middle with the word "Kitchenette Two" scrawled inside. He saw his name. Written messily in a square in the right hallway boasted the word 'Mello'. His eyes wandered around the page, noting tons of other kids' names, people he knew, but didn't care about. The name 'Matt' was carelessly penned in red. And in a fitting square near the entrance to the main room, far away from Mello's as the blonde requested, stood a gently composed name in faded blue ink. Mello took down the map frame and opened the back. A folded and torn sheet cascaded down to the somewhat wet tile. He shivered as he picked it up, water dropping from the corner of the page. Everyone's name was written rather messily and most people had their own room. The facility was large enough for that. But as the two demanded, hand in hand, they shared a room and managed to squeeze a bunk bed in there, but as Near was afraid of heights and Mello complained occasionally, sometimes they slept together. It was nothing strange to them and they didn't do anything, they just snuggled. Mello remembered he would wake up super early because Near talked in his sleep and he'd sit there and listen to his voice, wondering what was going on behind those pretty little eyes of his. He looked so beautiful, so breakable… Mello whipped his head around. 'Never mind, that's the past now.' He took a long wavering look at the faded pencil square in which two little words conjoined to make one meaning. In marker the statements 'NEAR & MELLO' followed by a few little dots and possibly hearts glowed. A single drop splashed on the paper, right in their box. Mello covered his face with his arm and left the decrepit map and the mahogany frame on the floor.

---

Mello carried Near on piggyback down the hallways to their room. Near rested his head sideways on the back of the blonde's neck. He could hear Mello's heartbeat. One-two. Three-four. Five-six. He squeezed his arms tight around Mello's neck Mello closed his eyes and sighed. His miniature feet shuffled profusely against the thick wooden surface squeaking softly, his pant legs covering most of his feet.

"Don't trip, Miha…"

"I not gonna trip, I'll be jus fine."

"I trust you." Near loosened his arms and closed his eyes as Mello, surprised, turned his head back to peek at his friend.

"No no no, keep yoah eyes on the road." Near giggled. A few weak coughs escaped his lips. Mello cringed a little.

"It's not a road…' Mello pouted but laughed sincerely afterwards.

"Hang in there, Nia."

The smaller boy closed his eyes and nestled in the back of Mello's neck again. He sniffed. Mello smiled and adjusted the weight. He pressed on, long blue pant legs trailing.

Mello kicked the door open to their room and laid Near gently down on the bottom bunk. He dropped his eyes and brushed the bangs out of Near's face. His soft white hair fell back into place as he stared at Mello indecisively, beholding his face, analyzing his features, and feeling strange about doing it. Instinctively, he reached up and touched Mello's face, bringing the blonde's gaze to Near's face as Near smiled weakly.

"Near," Mello whispered. It was the first time he pronounced it correctly, and Near was astounded. He tried to tell him so, too, but then his face wrinkled up a bit. He opened his mouth wide and sneezed on Mello's hand.

"Dammit Nia," He wiped his hand on his shirt mildly disgusted. Near's eyes opened wide as he lowered his vision to his blanket, not daring to look Mello in the face. His face turned shades of red again, only this time it was out of embarrassment. He trembled under the covers.

"Shoot.." Mello whined, but anyone could plainly see he wasn't angry. A little perturbed, maybe, but not angry. Mello kissed Near's forehead. His face got even redder. Near put his icy hands on his exceedingly warm face. Mello leaned down again only to hear a 'chua' and have the germ-filled spray on his shirt. "Y'know what?" he said, smiling ever so brightly, "I don't caya. As long as you sick Mello's gonna take care of you." He lifted Near up again, body shaking, teeth chattering, short of breath and in awe. "But what if you get sick?" Near asked, clamoring and nose running. He sniffed. Mello's biggest cheekiest smile shone forth, teeth showing almost obnoxiously. He smirked, pleased, and he proudly and bravely retorted the following words, "I am vasiniticated for the flu and stuff, but not for cooties and as long as you don't have that, I'll be okay. And even if you do give me dis…seasons, it'll be okay because it came from you and not some weirdo." Near smiled sweetly at his best friend, who wrapped his arms lovingly around the skinny six-year-old, carrying his babyish friend bridal style all the way to the bathroom. "Now let's take a bath."

---

Mello reached Near's door. It was mahogany, just like the others, with white paneling, just like the others, and a quaint little whiteboard on the front, just like the others. 'The whiteboard is new,' Mello thought. 'Near' was carefully etched on the whiteboard as if it bore a significance of some sort, something bigger and more inadequate and incomprehensible than you would imagine, but it retained itself and embodied the pasty child perfectly. The door was cracked slightly and soft, melancholy music poured out of the room. Mello breathed in and bit his lip. He blinked twice before lowering his head and opening the door.

---

Little Near stood quietly, blushing hard and heart beating rather hard against his chest, as Mello's surprisingly gentle hands pulled off all his clothes, revealing the ghostlike skin underneath. The bath water splashed obnoxiously loud in the small bathroom, echoing against the walls. Near turned his head left a little bit and looked at himself in the tall skinny mirror. He looked down and quickly blushed and turned away. 'How isn't he ashamed of looking at me naked?' He thought to himself, gazing toward the yellowish wall on the other side of the room. He closed his eyes and sighed right as the blond lifted him against his chest again. Mello cradled Near and gave him a big smile. Near looked at Mello bemused when he noticed something astonishing. "Mello," he whispered wide-eyed. "Hm?"

"Your favite tooth…"

"Yep!" Mello grinned even harder and pointed at the space in between his teeth. "I losed it!" He closed his mouth as he lowered Near into the warm bath water, feeling around in his mouth with his pink tongue. Near watched him in fascination and felt his own teeth. Unfortunately, they were all perfectly in place. 'One day, I'll be three months older and lose teeth just like Miha.' Near thought. Mello reached down with the bath scrubby and started rubbing it against Near's body. Near cooperated, laughing when Mello scrubbed his stomach and whimpering when he scrubbed a little too hard. Mello filled up a pitcher with bath water and poured it over Near's head. The little boy shook out his hair like a dog. He rubbed his eyes a little, to get out the extra water.

"Why are you givin me a bath anyway?"

"I heard," Mello stated, filling another pitcher, "that when you give sick or unhappy people a bath, it makes them feel better." He splashed the water on Near.

"So get better soon you sick little nutball!" Mello giggled. Near laughed as Mello's long sleeves hit the warm water. Near splashed some water at him.

"Hey!"

"That's for calling me a nutball." Near smiled sweetly and Mello ruffled his wet hair. He looked affectionately at the snowy little boy, a great happiness filling his heart and melting it away with it's warmth, a weird feeling he hadn't felt before. His hand retreated and touched his heart, feeling it pang against his ribs so hard he could barely breathe.

'What's going on?' He asked himself, imagining what it could be throughout various water splashing on Near. Eventually he shrugged his shoulders and went out to the closet to get a towel. "Be right back." He assured.

But little Miha must have forgotten where the closet was, because he ended up wandering around in the hallway lost.

---

'Ohhhh!' Mello squealed in his head. After a good 20 or so minutes, he had walked in on somebody throwing up, two teenagers fooling around, some girl getting changed, three of his peers playing tea party, and a sort of nerdy boy behind his door, hiding for whatever reason. He was about to give up when he finally had an idea.

'I can ASK where the closet is!'

The boy pumped his fist victoriously, a huge grin creeping on to his face. He opened the next mahogany door, ready to pop the life-saving question, only to find the closet.

Mello gave the fabric filled closet a hard stare before reluctantly pulling out two towels and staggering back to Near with a hard look on his face.

"Stupid closet," He hissed.

---

"Nia, I'm back." Mello called softly. No response. Mello crept into the yellowish interior of the room. "Nia?" He said. When he saw the empty bathtub, Mello began to panic. He blinked twice and pinched himself. When he realized this wasn't a dream, Near had really gone, he started to cry. "Oh no! What… what happened? I left him right…. Here?" The blonde's head hung over the side of the bathtub. His tears hit the rough tub surface. He peered into the bathtub confirming that Near was indeed there, just laying gracefully on the almost completely drained floor of the tub. Sleeping.

Mello chuckled and he picked up his friend's top half gently. He wrapped the towel around Near's body and lifted him up all the way, draping the other towel over Near like a blanket. He gazed lovingly at his sleeping prize in his arms. Near cuddled into Mello's chest instinctively. Mello blushed and half-smiled feeling that weird sensation in his chest and face again. He ducked his head a little as he wrapped his arms around Near protectively tighter, whisking him back to their room.

---

Near, sitting against his bed still damp, felt the light filter in through the door and jerked his head toward the entrance. His face, however, had the same blank expression. "Who is it?" he asked cautiously. The figure didn't answer and marched in. Near felt his heart pound fiercely against his chest. His eyes widened for the first time in a long time to witness a long-haired blonde shuffling into the room they used to share long ago. His foot scraped something sharp that Near had left there on accident and the blonde cursed accordingly as a small cut angled his foot, blood carefully trickling out. He lifted his foot off the ground to check on it. Never moving from his seat, Near grabbed it instead. A drop hit the floor.

"Mello?" he whispered, his heart withering.

"Yeah. It's me."

Near felt like he had gone to Heaven.

He also felt like he had just been murdered.

---

"This might sting a little." Near grazed the medicated cotton ball onto Mello's wound. "Nnnnnnnngh!" he cringed. Near blinked as he put the Band-Aid on Mello's heel.

"There we go, all…." Near opened his mouth like he was yawning, but once again, ended up sneezing on Mello. He gasped and dived to Mello's side, brushing off where he had presumed he had sneezed and looking apologetically at Mello.

"Oh, Miha, I'm…" Mello looked directly at him. Near drew back, realizing what he'd done. These next few moments were the most exciting he'd have in his life.

Near's heart had been sent straight down into his stomach. He felt like throwing up and reveling in it all at the same time. He wanted to cry while laughing. This same sensation was flowing through Mello at this same time and that's probably why the six seconds that they were expressionlessly staring at each other were the most meaningful. Mello looked as if he wanted to say something. Near was just about to take it. But impulse became action and the two were all over each other in a heartbeat. Mello ran his hands through Near's hair as he pressed his lips onto his counterpart's. Near's hands grabbed around Mello's waist and pulled him closer. The two were so in-sync, that their tongues ventured at the same time and bumped into each other, causing Near to laugh for the first time in a long time. "I love your laugh," Mello whispered to him. "You should do it more often." Near's face got real warm as Mello stroked his back lovingly. "You really think so?" he asked, hope swelling in his heart like it hadn't for a long time.

"No." Mello confirmed. Near's heart shattered.

"I know so." It rebuilt itself in two seconds. 'Love is weird,' he thought. But he really didn't care. Now he only cared about Mello, who's eyes were focused on his pants.

"You perv, " he whispered, flushed. Mello chuckled, leaned forward, his face touching Near's, and stuck his hand back in Near's hair. Near nuzzled him, gladly encouraging a round two. Mello eagerly grabbed Near's chin and tilted his head, intertwining their lips again. Near panted when they came apart again and Mello exhaled fast, looking at him longingly. He craved Near, his body, everything he had, he was so perfect and Mello, like any self respecting boy, couldn't resist. He lowered Near onto the bed and Near got the gist. He stuck his hands up Mello's long-sleeved black shirt. Mello took some time to smile slyly as near fumbled with Mello's vest before taking it off himself. Near giggled sheepishly as Mello unbuttoned his shirt. He beheld the body he hadn't realized he had missed so dearly before Mello plunged into Near's mouth again.

And you could barely hear them, but the two had ventured places they had only dreamed of. Experienced something they only had mused about. Neither boy could have fathomed the night.

But in the end, Mello was glad he had barged into Near's room.

---

"Miha," The young boy mumbled in his sleep. Mello's heart was already racing at 600 miles per hour, why did Near have to make it that much harder for him?

Mello had held out for this long, which to you and me really wasn't that long considering their bedroom was less than 5 feet from the bathroom. But for little Mello, this was a huge accomplishment as he finally kicked his room door open, the whiteboard banging against the surface. He lowered his love on the bed and looked at him, dazed and covered in desire. Though he didn't know this. He sat and stroked Near's hair for a good while, stuck in a rut. The love was controlling him so deeply that he wasn't even thinking. Just staring at Near's peaceful and alluring demeanor made Mello bite his tongue. The six-year-old blonde put his small hand on the blanche one's cheek. Near mumbled a little as his head unconsciously adjusted to lean into Mello's touch. Mello smiled and pet Near adoringly.

"Don't ever worry, Near." He pronounced into Near's ear. "I'll always be with you. I'll always protect you. Forever."

"What happened to forever, Mello?"

---

The race for L had begun between Near, the gentle love of the House of Wammy and Mello, the passive underdog. People were making actual bets between the two. The stress and pressure to win, the desire to be the best, the high expectations… it beat out the both of them. But they had different ways of showing it.

Mello had become more aggressive over the years, becoming more and more distant from Near… purposefully. He tried to break his bond with Near. His love for Near was too passionate. He would never win with his heart beating faster every time he saw his supposed 'opponent'. So he started devising a plan. He demanded a room as far away from Near as possible. He avoided Near whenever possible. He ignored him and anyone who brought the subject of Near up. And finally the day came. Moving day. A few of his housemates came and moved boxes around. To Near it was just a whirring image blurry and hard-to-make out, until Mello stood, not a thing of his left in the space, in front of the door. And at that moment, he said these exact words to Near. They were both 11.

"Near, I can't do this anymore. I really can't stand you. Always clinging to me, asking me questions, trying to help me… I don't need you! I can do things by myself! You're constant pestering is ruining my reputation." Mello turned his back to Near as he said these next few words. "You are the worst person I've ever met. I will win L's spot. And you can't stop me. I. Hate. You."

Mello slammed the door. He had finally, finally cracked. The blonde scrambled for the nearest bathroom and without bothering to turn the light on, shoved himself in the bathtub. He started to sob uncontrollably, his heart withering inside him. He wanted to die. He hated himself.

"I …can never…." Sob. "Look……… him……. in the … face….again….."

---

Near was shattered. The expression on his face didn't move for the next hour and a half. Neither did his body. What would L do? What would L do?!?!

In this time, he had started adopting a new phrase and it was time to use it.

"Emotions are obstacles in the ultimate goal." He mumbled.

And Mello had just proved that.

He had trouble with being unemotional in the beginning. He couldn't show any weakness, any mood. He had a knack for being calm in tough situations anyways so he started to build this barrier, block by block, with Mello's words as energy to inspire him. He had people test him and he tested himself. The struggle was long and taxing, supposedly further whitening his complexion. This is another reason people say his hair is white. The child spent endless days and nights constructing his acting skills, completely determined to never let himself break open like that again. He had let people take advantage of him for so long that when he had finally thought someone was there for him, it was all a hoax, a mind trick. And Near hadn't ever realized it. He never questioned it. And over and over again he beat himself up for not identifying that, not recognizing it beforehand. The wall kept stacking itself.

And one day in his bedroom, it happened. He sat with his stereo on softly beside him, his heart pouring out on the ground as he listened to the music.

"Landslide."

He blinked, seemingly unfazed. But inside, he died a little every time he heard this song. Tears still fell from his eyes. But this particular day, they didn't. He leaned against his bedpost, registering the words of the song and his thoughts when he realized,

'I'm stronger now, too.' And finally after these few years, the wall was complete.

The pale boy smiled insincerely as he had taught himself to. The damage was done.

Near no longer acquired emotions.

---

Near sat up in his bead half-naked. He hadn't really even thought about it but in the whole of last night. But had what he had feared the most happened? Had his walls been destroyed so quickly? He looked at the blonde mass beside him. "Mello." He mouthed. He wanted to cry. "Mello."

---

"You know why you can't stay." Near stated, using his dignified calm voice as he did with any stranger. He stared at the stoned, cold ground, not minding his bangs drifting in his eyes.

After breakfast, they had gone out to the courtyard because Near said he had to 'talk' to Mello. The children in the main dining hall where suspicious and fascinated, as far as they knew, Mello and Near hadn't spoken to each other in at least 3 years.

"I know." Mello whispered. The wind whipped his hair into his face also. Wind chimes could be heard in the distance. Petals of the blossom trees cascaded in the breeze. Mello's eyes diverted to the floor also, but as Near lifted his head to catch a glimpse of the falling petals, Mello couldn't push away the opportunity. He looked his former friend straight in the eyes. Near couldn't pull away.

"I'm leaving tomorrow, you know."

"I know but…. But…" Near stammered. He squeezed his eyes shut. 'Mello can't do this to me…'

Mello's hand grazed Near's face. He held it on his cheek like so long ago before. He gave Near a gentle smile and pulled something from his black bag. Near watched curiously as the blonde presented one of his T-shirts. It was baggy, black and the sleeves dangled in the gentle wind. A pink blossom fell, full and graceful, onto Near's pale white shoulder. Mello reached over, gently and put it in Near's hair. Near watched this in fascination. He cringed a little when Mello pulled away. Mello gave him a huge grin, just like he used to.

Near deserved a little color. With the flower in his hair, he looked like an angel. His beauty was inevitable but indescribable nonetheless and Mello felt his heart ache when he looked at Near. "Near," he whispered.

Near looked up blushing.

"Put this on." Mello pulled his shirt over Near's head. After a few seconds of external struggle, Near's white head popped out of the hole for the head. His hands never came out, though, for the shirt was much to big on him. It was rather like a mini dress.

"Oh, Mello, it's huge."

"Yeah it was big on me too!" The blonde laughed. "At least you look cute."

Near was flattered against his will. He started having hope in his heart. And hope made him do silly things and think irrationally, that maybe, certain desires of his might become reality.

He was only dreaming, obviously.

"Mello…." He said nervously. "Why don't you come and work with me?"

Mello's face darkened. "I work alone."

But Near was persistent. His motive was love, his intention was good, and in truth Near was afraid for Mello. "Mello, you shouldn't be running around with the enemy!"

"Near, I know what I'm getting myself into! I don't need you to tell me what's good for me!" Mello shot back.

Near gasped and put his material covered hands over him mouth. Mello's eyes looked at him with a mixture of adoration, fascination and… disgust.

Near's eyes opened bigger than they ever had. He was realizing that he was just getting himself into…

… _I don't need you! I can do things by myself!_

Near's eyes glazed over and dropped. 'That's right.' He remembered. He squeezed his eyes shut But this time Mello wasn't going to leave without him. He wouldn't get away.

"Mello, I…"

But the place where his love had been standing was vacant. The wind blew ferociously and Near's flower flew out of his hair.

The pale child stood and stared at the empty space for a long while before finally registering that his heart had been broken once again and leaned down to pick up his flower. He looked at it apologetically and whispered, "I never told him the truth."

Looking into the direction of Mello's absent being he said, "I love you Mello."

And left his flower to dance in the wind.

---

_The End._

_---_

A/N: Forgive the horrible writing 'skills' this story was supposed to have a little something else but I figured it was too long already. If demand is popular enough I'll include my little 'deleted scene'.

Again forgive the writing 'talent' I'm only 14. How good did you expect it to be?

/laughs nervously/

If you decide to stick around, the next oneshot in my DN collection is…

LxLight

I'll see ya soon, lover boys/girls. ~_Sam_


	2. Epilogue

A pain you went through twice?.

What is that supposed to mean, Mello?

Stroking the scar on the side of his face, the blond looked down for a few seconds. Light leapt on and off of his amber hair, eyes flickered back and forth between each of his lackeys, inferiors and employees. He moved not a muscle; spoke not a word, yet an incomparable tension flooded the room. Met only with fictitious consolations and, incompetent shudders, misery felt the loss of company.

Genius had awakened.

But Mello didn't know what to do with it anymore.

Lifting his head after an incommodious silence, his eyes were dark and unresponsive. Staring directly ahead, he appeared nothing more than a face in a picture, unable to listen or feel, only to see out of painted eyes… and false smiles.

"I lost all the people I loved."

No…

Mello…

We lost _you_.

_Shot… at least 27 times…_

_Burned to death… Suicide seems unlikely for such a lovely, popular person!_

…_Captor's doing?_

_Oh this one… _

_Impossible. Captor was dead far before the 911 call or the supposed time of burning… And his scar has had years of wear._

_Cause of death is painfully obvious. _

_Kira has saved us once again!_

_I see no savior in this…_

_The explosion wasn't among…_

"_Newscaster Kiyomi Takada, previously missing, was found dead last night after a church exploded, seemingly spontaneously, and burned into the ground. Detectives on the scene have theorized that Kiyomi committed suicide. The motive is unknown, but the captor was 'unmistakably', detectives say, dead far before the 911 call was voiced or the fire was started. _

_This person, a young man who is surmised to be of about 19 or 20 years old, is thought to be the one who kidnapped Kiyomi in the first place. His motive is also unknown and it is impossible to get any information about him in the least besides an alias, an insider confided, 'Mello was his name, and he was one of the most talented bosses the Mafia's ever seen.'" _

_Near shut off the television He sat motionless, staring out at the sunlight filtering in through the large windows of the SPK headquarters. His blinks were long and slow, his long, luscious lashes failing to catch a single tear. _

'_Well. Kira. The final battle is upon us.' He thought. 'And I refuse to lose to you.' It was a long time before anything came to him again. He couldn't think. He couldn't move. And after a long silence… _

_He rose. Poured himself a glass of water._

_And got himself a chocolate bar._


End file.
